KKCS

2011-12-22T11:21:00.002+08:00

Have you seen the world?

He'll get paid. Black leather boots, they cut off his hair.

He kicked in the door. The children they cried. They took him away. Took off his clothes, pissed in his hands. Beat him with guns and batons again and again.

She walked. With bullets in haze. She pressed on. He fired away. The shells jumped through the smoke. The blood now had soaked. She collapsed with a flag white as snow.

2011-12-14T01:29:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i choose to be lost. No, no lost, to live in my own world. To attend to only myself. Serenity, a oasis, a haven, a controlled environment where one feels safe, comfort. It is easier this way. But perhaps this may not the right thing to do. To run away. To avoid. To hide away. Ultimately, it's up to yourself.

Shameless(a show about a struggling family of 5 children fighting for survival against reality) it's a really inspiring show. Be it money/work/love problems hit against them, they still survive. I like how the way they help each other and solve things together. The point is they NEVER run away from anything. I think that's the main reason i like it. I encourage my guest to watch it. Anyway, contain many sexual scenes k.

Be hopeful my guest! Live with arms wide open, get hurt, recoil back into your own world. Then break out of your shell to welcome and let the world in again. Life is a constant flux anyway. What doesn't kill, makes you stronger.

2011-12-14T01:09:00.002+08:00

Do you think it's meant to be? I've been thinking. It almost seems that if it's meant to be, everything in the universe would turn in one direction forcing you to get there. If it's not meant to be, everything in the universe would conspire to not get you there. The path is taken.

I hate to let the universe takes control. I hate to have to say "no choice lor". It makes me feel really, irresponsible in a way. Fuck this shit

2011-10-25T14:02:00.002+08:00

Now it feels like im only living in this world alone. My family they dont care, my friends they only care about themselves. I feel that this world is so selfish. Because everybody thinks that i can help myself. I can do this alone. I am the strongest man in the world. But the truth is im not. I need all the help i can get. What if i screw up?

At times i feel really useless. When my friends confided their problems in me, i could only listen. Now even accomplishing something simple seems so hard for me. Hoping for a better me. I hate hoping. Because it only brings disappointment. Why do people have hope?

Im disappointed the second time, for the same situation. Humans can be so dumb sometimes. You go through some rough time, you look at the blue sky and you carry some hope again. This ritual can go on forever. Only the blue sky, still the blue sky.

Why did they taught us to share, then want us to be independent? I used to share. But people took them away. Lesson learnt. Used to be independent. But people took them away. What do you want from me?

Im lost.. I dont even know why am i here. Doing all these stuffs which has no meaning. I wish someone up there that understands, give me some guidelines, control me, make me go your way, so i can live the life you want.. I dont know whats going on...

2011-08-25T10:20:00.003+08:00

2011-03-25T03:53:00.000+08:00

If you listened....

2011-02-21T03:28:00.002+08:00

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
When you want to smile, but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but never quit.

The silver tint of the clouds in doubt. It may be near when it seems afar. You can never tell how close you are. So, stick to the fight when you're the hardest hit. It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit ,
because success is failure turned inside out.

2011-02-20T05:02:00.004+08:00

you don't know how far away, but you know there's light at the end of the tunnel

you keep moving on, keep moving on

hoping to see the light, someday

where is the light??

"it's in your heart."

everywhere else may be dark, but never lose that light

because you're not lost, you're just finding your way

why be afraid of the dark?

2011-02-11T08:09:00.001+08:00

I am seeing is the storm before the calm. It's that point where everything is turbulent. It's the point of change. But change, in this case, is quite good. Now, i'm experiencing a rough but necessary period where things that were wrong are being put right. The drama that surrounds me feels like something is wrong. I wanna see not just a silver lining for the clouds above, but a luminous beam of light shining through.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

2011-01-27T04:13:00.001+08:00

I have a short story to tell. Listen now, its just a short story.

During sex, you help eachother undress. After sex, you dress yourself.

The moral of the story is, in life, nobody will help you once you're fucked.

©corrine

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

2011-01-21T11:20:00.003+08:00

You may be lamenting a failed attempt at something. You put your all into it, heart and soul. You thought ahead. You did your research. You were prepared. You worked hard. And yet nothing came of it. Well, nothing except experience. But experience, is priceless. What you learned recently through a dissatisfying experience will offer you a wealth of knowledge and wisdom when you really need it. That time may not come until mid-year, but it will come. And then you won't be regretting your experience at all.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

2011-01-13T05:45:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i feel like im at the edge of the cliff looking down at the crashing surf with nowhere to go but down. I used to have this fun dreams when i was so free. But now as i fly, im afraid. There are telephone lines and electrical wires. How painful would it be to run into one. I wonder if i'll ever be free again. Im slowing sinking in a vast lake of quicksand, a bottomless pool. I wish i could crawl under a rock and sleep forever. I seemed to be at the end of the road.
My name is Kelvin Ku. I write this and hopes that one day, many years from now, i would be able to go back, and remembers what my life was like, when i was a young and confused adolescent. Desperately trying to understand myself in the world i live in.

2011-01-01T06:47:00.003+08:00

"Let it signify a realisation of all things i've wished for."

I'm waiting for you happiness. I'm still waiting. I smile. I'll know who i am. I love the people around me. I'll stay grounded. I'll go alongside with nature. I believe and i feel. So, don't stay too far away from me.

I've said honesty is always the best policy. But now, it seems as though honesty is only the best policy when used appropriately. People just want to impress others by trying to show all the good sides and covering up all the flaws. Humanity is characterised in a way, how could i complain. Let's face it, it's a harsh world out there. Frequently, we are just not so honest to tell the truth. To protect ourselves, or others. By telling a different story, are you comfortable to live in lies? After all, you tell the truth, you endanger yourself in a position where others may get rid of you. Inviting trouble maybe?

Take it, this is me, as it is. You can decipher for yourself.

I want to live honestly, really.

2010-12-19T02:27:00.000+08:00

Can't cry watching this movie, I reckon myself to have a heart of stone. That's my truth. I cried because you pushed me away. That's the truth. Just say no, next time. Honesty is always the best policy. Push me away, let me fall... Push me away, let me fall... They'll get to me, someday...

By the way, the movie's great. Touching and inspiring. Makes you think twice when laughing at others. Don't laugh at others, when they are different in a way. They are born this way. Accept the difference. Stand in their shoes, feel the pain they feel. Humans are like butterflies. Some can fly higher than the others but each one flies the best it can. Why compare one against another? Each one is special, each one is different. And everyone is beautiful.

You are a butterfly to me. Go now, fly, fly far away. Fly abundantly to the moon. If you should return to me, we truly were meant to be. So, spread your wings and fly.

2010-12-14T08:03:00.000+08:00

As stated in the description. Simple to say, if you think it's true, you are right. Vice versa. No questions needed.

It's like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it eludes you. The moment you change your attention to other things, it will come and sit silently on your shoulder.

Some things don't work like that. Do they?

Drowned in the night sky, clear but still, clouds. I see a few stars. Stars that lit. With that finger, I traced your name. They shone more than the stars. Hope. Lost. I've never figured that out. Just trying out some fictions. Sitting beside you. I sense fire. It's burning, and burning. It never stops. I sat so still. Electricity shocks me. Again and again. Igniting the flames. Stop the flames, stop the shocks. Save me.

Love the way you lie,

on me.

2010-12-12T02:32:00.000+08:00

Yes, nothing can change it. And it wounds.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, thinking, "where have i gone wrong?".

Then a voice says to me, "this is gonna take more than one night."

At first, i decided that the truth is probably the best, though it hurts alot, but it's just temporary. Once the step was taken, things change. I was surprised at the reaction. Im sorry, but this time im gonna lie, for the sake of seeing you bleed. What hurt the most for me, was giving you a temporary treatment, and make it worst when treatment fades away. In the end its just making the blood drip, turns into blood flow. I understand the thorns you threw at me wasn't your intention. I hope you'll stop firing at me when it backfires at yourself. Because the pain of trying to hurt somebody is even painful than being hurt. Now the truth is locked in the locker, dark room as to say, never to see the daylight. It'll vanish bit by bit.

When I stand close to someone, I wanted so much to tell someone, someone smelt so nice. It's like a specially made fragrant to seduce me. But, reluctantly i stepped back. The longer i persist, the harder it was for me to leave someone. I am happy enough for today. Hee

"You'll be my inspiration!" I thought to myself.

2010-12-11T01:50:00.000+08:00

Oh lights, i guess i'm back to writing. Out of the blue, i have this urge to do so. Maybe it's because recently i chanced upon my testimonial from O levels, just a simple sentence, " He is capable of writing well, channelling his creative energy into his essays ". Well, the truth is, he copied all the essays from some alibaba book including his O levels narative. Not so creative anymore. Heh. "His confident and optimism will drive him to do his best despite facing challenges. He will do well in his future endevours." I'm not doing so well now hei? it's low self confidence but tryna act like confident in the end overconfident. Lollllllllllllll, optimism. Pessimism turned me into positively dangerous if you get what i mean. I know, what's the point anyway.

Not trying to win sympathy here, nobody owes anyone a living. Anyone can believe in anything whether it's true or not. Believing in something false doesn't make it true. If i believe i can fly and i jump out of the window, i'm still gonna fall. Not believeing in something true doesn't make it false. If i don't believe in the law of gravity is true, i'm still gonna fall. So, anyone can view my blog as subjective as it is. Whom may it concern? Heh, pardon the cynical laugh.

Sometimes im utterly unbelievably lacking intellectual acuity. Hurting people as i go then realizing it may all be too late. I regret that. But sometimes i'm not, and i can see, i can understand, i can feel how people behave around me...

2010-12-10T02:09:00.000+08:00

Huai Ren

2010-12-09T02:06:00.000+08:00

I guess, a leopard can never change it's spot. We are what we are. Holding on to what i am. Still, a pessimist somewhere inside. Sitting in an empty room trying to figure out what it's like, moving on. Well, thoughts hurt.. and i get that. LIES, truth. I don't know and I cant figure it out.. COME, tamers, i'm waiting.

2010-12-02T19:41:00.000+08:00

New York City = Happy People

2010-11-23T20:12:00.001+08:00

WANT SOME NEMO?

2010-11-14T03:47:00.001+08:00

baby i miss you so so much, so so much

2010-10-13T14:31:00.000+08:00

她说她再也不相信真爱
我能给的安全感也用完
原本的孤单已变成不安
想看穿却又放不下依赖
我们都怕痛
但又好想试着牵手
两颗心隐藏在背后
不敢承诺
不想再难过
丢弃回忆重新来过
让我永远牵着你
把手给我
我们都怕痛
但又好想试着牵手
两颗心隐藏在背后
不敢为爱承诺
不想再难过
丢弃回忆重新来过
让我永远牵着你
把手给我

2010-09-20T04:28:00.000+08:00

I know that sadness will not be able to change anything
If that's the case, then let me be honest a little bit
To be honest that's it's difficult to avoid an unruly betrayal
I can only close the door and ignore the world
Sitting alone inside this empty space
Let the cellphone rest for a night
So difficult, I feel like cutting off all the frames of memory
These tears can no longer shed past Midnight
Happy birthday, I said to myself
As the candles are blown
Loneliness lit up
Happy birthday
Tears are melted away
I want to thank for all that you gave and took away
Having to love you still, carries a little scar
Only time
Can heal the wound
Passionate love leaves painful traces
As the picture replays
Wish me a happy birthday

2010-09-16T17:25:00.000+08:00

so readers you think its ok to NOT laugh at this funny article? cause if so you really have no place in this conversation and can back off right now. I may not support people who have no sense of humour but what kelvin is trying to do is to entertain his readers, how can you be against that?

2010-09-15T17:37:00.000+08:00

Breathe in, breathe out

2010-09-10T15:12:00.000+08:00

10 September 2010

Dear future kelvin,

IPAD?
IPAD?
IPAD?
IPAD?
IPAD?

Regards, past kelvin

2010-08-15T08:09:00.000+08:00

15 August 2010

Today is sunday, heh confession day. Just nice, i have a confession to make. I didn't quit smoking. Arggh.

Yesterday i'd decided to work my ass off and i did. Cant complain. The future Kelvin will rock your pants off. Anyway, i feel damn freaking emo writing this down. It's like i have nobody to talk to and... i dont. Dont remind me.

I had this bad thought for weeks that tells me, 'hey brand new, go and get an ipad so you can write thoughts like this efficiently.' Really Kelvin? Nah, i just want an ipad, it is just so cool. SIR-RI-YEARS-LY, I NEED AN IPAD! Fine, time to be mature and apply what you had learnt. When you want something, you work your ass off for it. You fucking do it. You better fucking do it.

I should probably write down the mistake I've done recently. Simply saying, -Do not snatch things from friends you wanna keep- what are you thinking, its not a girl. Now, i've been ditched aside. The past Kelvin could have argued, 'Hey, it was what you did to me that i did to you' but i didnt. Well, the time is not right. Anyway, it over, move on Kelvin. At least you still have people that cared, could count them easily with a hand. I know, life sucks, and i dont always say that.

Dear future Kelvin and Universe,

I have so many questions now. Yeah, practically my future. Thats what everyone wants to know i guess. What do you hold for me,? What would i become in 3 years? 5 years? 10 years? I know the answer actually. Yesh, precisely me. I will not change if nothing change. I hope things change for the better. I sincerely hope. Life is amazing I always say that.

Best regards future Kelvin
Bai past Kelvin

2010-08-14T06:32:00.000+08:00

Today is August 14 2010.

Im sitting here blogging, and i just went to googled for 'how to get a life'.
Guess my friend is right, i had no life. Hate to admit it. Im stucked. Im doing nothing. I should probably go out there and do something. Just get out there kelvin!

Kelvin boy, you sucked seriously. seriously, and i meant sir-ri-years-ly. It was meant to pronounce like that. ha ha, you're so damn funny. I meant sacastically, if you dont get it, future kelvin. Oh, btw i learnt this 'future kelvin' thing while watching 'how i met your mother'. Oh man that was a good show. iiiiiiiiiiiiii LOVE IT! [thanks caleb, brandon]

So, future kelvin. Thinking time. Man, you sucked, past kelvin. You think too much sometimes. I hate my stupid brain. But sometimes i love it.

KELVIN if today you're gonna decide to do something, do it. DO IT I MEAN IT. EVEN IF IT WAS A MISTAKE, YOU WILL LEARN YOUR LESSON AND GROW UP. Time to grow up.

If if if.. you wanna quit smoking, fucking hell quit it.
you wanna get a girlfriend, cause you're horny, fuck it, fuck her. unleash the whatever, monster. Stop acting like whatever, angel that comes from the heaven? Fuck you past kelvin.

Opps, did i just said that? no, i typed it. zomg you're a horny bastard, you're done kelvin, you're done.

WTF? fuck off past kelvin you're done. thanks for the angel reputation though, kkthxbai.

Today, i am so lonely right here right now. My friends ditched me. They didnt called me to play HON when i said i wanted to play. Practically, they gave up on me, because we had collision domains. We collided thats all i can say. FINE FINE , ima use my motto from young that i've always used. Dont friend dont friend loh. Life sucks right? I've always didnt say that. But, life sucks.

BUT!!! Life is still not a bitch. Lucky to have another friend to accompany me for breakfast in an hour. WOO! ok, its 7am now, i didnt sleep. You should not do this, future Kelvin.

Regards to Future Kelvin!
Bai, past kelvin.

2010-08-11T10:10:00.000+08:00

This will be my suicide letter if my heart is broken in the future.

August 10, 2010
Bitch I Told You, I motherfucking told you. I told you. I god damn told you. Tell me I didn't tell you. You're a fucking liar, because I told you. I god damn told you. Maybe you weren't listening. Maybe your just too fucking stupid and thought I wasn't serious. But I told you. Or maybe you were too busy drooling over all those cocks you wanted to suck to pay attention. But I told you. I don't know what the fuck's wrong with your hearing. What I do know is that I told you. Just like my father told my mother and his father told his mother and his father told his mother, I told you. What did I tell you? That's right, I told you I would fucking kill you and me both if you ever left me. Maybe from now on you will listen when I tell you something.
Kelvin

I was on this website that they generate suicide letters. The letters generated can be base on different reasons. Cool uh?

Don't ask me why i was on the website, HAHAHAHAHHA!

2010-07-21T18:51:00.001+08:00

BLOG CLOSED.

2010-07-04T23:41:00.000+08:00

Being an adult means being lonely sometimes.

i still remember, 'the reason' was playing.

Just another place to stop for a break i guess.

It was strange feeling, like, everything was taken care of.

There was nothing else in the world to worry about.

Comforting, very comforting.

and dangerous, in that moment.

i just wish, i havent wished what i've wished.

and luckily, it didnt came true..

i'll try not to stay behind stangers from now on.

maybe, its just a noslagic thing to do, im happy :D

2010-06-30T04:36:00.000+08:00

u hold a glass, and someone keep pouring hot water in it.

eventually it'll overflow and hurt you

making you wanna just let it go and break the glass..

it'll smashed into million pieces.

but what if......, what if

you just hold on to it regardless of everything.

you've decided to save the glass by all means

even if its sacrificing your hand..

i really admired people who can do that..

but it broke in the end,

cause you hold on to it too hard.

you lose the glass and your hand.

who broke it?

yes.

but would you regret?

2010-06-18T10:40:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, its a challenge to see how spoiled or forgiving you can be.
Because Kelvin is a genius at causing trouble after all.

2010-06-11T02:50:00.000+08:00

in my dreams, you're my life

in my life, your my dream

yes you are...

yes you are...

2010-06-07T14:56:00.000+08:00

Father's day is here soon! Love your dad guys!

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap. When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice. When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back. When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row. When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house. When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could. When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night. When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn. When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn’t be embarrassed in front of your friends. When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country. When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children. And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

2010-06-06T02:16:00.000+08:00

Do you still... want me....? >=l

Blood Seeker
Devouver

Night Hound

Lucifer

Do you still... want me....? >=l

2010-06-06T01:44:00.000+08:00

Do you want me..? =''l

2010-06-03T01:16:00.000+08:00

Eternal happiness or a peanut butter sandwich?

Eternal happiness.

i tell you,
Nothing is better than eternal happiness, and
A peanut butter sandwich is better than nothing.

So, go for the peanut butter sandwich.
Happiness is in your mind.

2010-06-02T02:14:00.000+08:00

I've made a video today!! woohoo..

2010-06-01T19:30:00.000+08:00

its true its true...
i'll watch you like a movie,
i'll sing you like a song,
read you like a story if it takes me all night long,
keep you like a secret,
i'll tell you like a joke
its true its true,
that i'll love you like i always do

2010-05-31T00:17:00.000+08:00

Should i cut my hair?

They are tranforming into a mushroom..
sign, i dont know what to do with them anymore...
sorry my eyes look like that.. low batt la..

2010-05-31T00:10:00.001+08:00

where did all the food i eat go to? = =

2010-05-27T02:12:00.000+08:00

When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.

Sorry to all humans who cant contact me, i couldn't care less about my prepaid card. I sacrificed the $$ on MapleStory @cash. Which is very very very ...... dumb. I couldn't care less either. I'm wasted, i've lost interest, i just want to ......................... dont want to.

2010-05-26T16:28:00.000+08:00

Sign... Got miss me not.....

A Mistake
A lady was sitting at the bar counter when she overheard the conversation between the guys sitting beside her.

One guy said,"Mine always stand up in the morning."

The other guy,"Mine too. I always took sometime to bring it down."

Another said,"It's a perpetual problem that I faced every morning. When my girlfriend is not around, I have to do it myself to bring it down."

Seeing that one of the guys is quite cute, she approached him and said,"I think I have the solution to your problem, why don't we go back to my place to make sure that it stand up all night and not tomorrow morning?"

The cute guy smiled and replied,"What're you thinking lady? We're talking about our hair!"

Stay or Quit?
In Singapore, living in Highly Dangerous Buildings (HDB), most
people have already got used to Paying And Paying (PAP). Not
only do you pay, you Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB). If that's not enough,
somebody still Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD) more from you. So what
more can you do when you are in the Money Only Environment (MOE)?
When you are sick, you might be able to use your Cash Prior to
Funeral (CPF) fund, if you happen to be admmited to the Money
Operating Hospital (MOH) one time. If you are out of luck, you may
meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH) to treat you and you will be
Sure to Give-up Hope (SGH). To help ease the traffic, motorist have
to pay Cash On Expressway(COE). If that doesnt help, they can
always Eternally Raise Prices (ERP) on the roads. If you don't own a
car, you can always make a Mad Rush to Train (MRT) or get squashed
in a bus, Side By Side (SBS). Lastly, under all these pressure, there are not many
places we can relax,not even the good old place we used to go
because it has become So Expensive and Nothing TO See Actually (SENTOSA).
At the end of the day, living in Singapore is quite frustrating.
Even to the extent of hearing people complaining Now Everyone's Water At Toilet Eventually Recycled (NEWATER).
You tell me lah, should I be a quitter or stayer?

2010-05-23T00:27:00.000+08:00

:Ever chased chickens?

:Certainly not!

:then you've never lived! Follow me!

2010-05-19T15:19:00.000+08:00

ya make me disappointed today..

ya give me shit so many shit..

arghhhhhhhhhhh

why do i care anyway,

lolzzzz =(

2010-05-18T03:45:00.000+08:00

---i aint on facebook, i aint on any social network but the one i live in
go out there and live life and dun live it on ya facebook account

take my advice and live a life
signing off from ya boi---

2010-05-12T11:54:00.001+08:00

Catch me if you can.

2010-05-11T23:02:00.000+08:00

music producers nowadays really not much.

where are all the great songs?

where you've go?

i miss you so...

2010-05-05T19:20:00.000+08:00

Today is a bad day. I hate days like today, hate feeling vulnerable, hate frustrations. I just wanna end the day early, tomorrow will be better.

By right, we shouldn't care about what others think about us. Who's in control of your life? Who do you live for?

Majority of us, it’s other people – society, colleagues, friends, family. We got used to this way of operating when we were very young. We discovered that feeling important and feeling accepted was a nice experience and so we learned to do everything we could to make other people like us. We didn’t want to be singled out by the crowd for being different because this wasn’t such a nice feeling. We learned this way of being so well that, as adults, we continue – mostly through mutual peer pressure – to keep each other in check.

It works both ways. First, we are afraid of disapproval. Am I dressed right? Will people laugh at my china accent? Will I look stupid? Will I make a mistake? When we feel that others think badly of us, it makes us feel bad and so we try to avoid this.

Second, we all want to feel important and so we crave the positive attention of others. When people stroke our ego and tell us how wonderful we are, it makes us feel good. We crave it like a drug.

You cannot control what other people think. People have their own agenda, they come with their own baggage and, in the end, they’re more interested in themselves than in you. If we try to live by the opinions of others, we will build our life on sinking sand. Everyone has a different way of thinking, and people change their opinions all the time. The person who tries to please everyone will only end up getting exhausted and probably pleasing no one in the process.

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” – Oscar Wilde

In the end,

The truth is that it’s all an illusion anyway.

2010-05-05T18:41:00.000+08:00

See no touch

I admit that sometimes I do wish I had similar things to what some others have. Things of my own. Things i could feel, yes their mine.

We learn to admire but not envy.

On the contrary, great things we have had, we never really notice them.

2010-05-01T02:24:00.000+08:00

You didn't see what i saw, you're perfect just the way you are.

2010-04-26T20:51:00.000+08:00

Whats your love?

Love is real

Love is feeling

Love is wanting

Love is touch

Love is reaching

Love is asking

Love is knowing

Love is free

Love is living

Love is needing

2010-04-26T19:42:00.000+08:00

If i were a girl, i would:

keep long hair.
take care of myself.
definitely not a shy type.
go after what i want.
stop complaining.
stay happy everyday.
stand up for my friends.
stay guiltless.
not stop and stare.
support Sofy

2010-04-23T15:55:00.000+08:00

1:i dont wanna see you anymore
2:i dont wanna friend you anymore
3:i dont wanna chat with you liao

why?

why?

why?

bye.

2010-04-21T22:09:00.001+08:00

2010-04-21T17:34:00.000+08:00

If you need me but do not want me,
then I will go.
If you want me but no longer need me,
I will still go.
But if you love, want and need me,
I will be there forever.

really?

you asked what 'forever' is, i don't know.
'forever' is just a term that never last..

you know,
I still care about you..
even though i know if i died today you wouldn't even care.
even though i know i shouldn't but i still do.
even though i know i said it's over, i've moved on.
but have i?

the sun sets and my shadow leaves me,
now im all alone in the darkness.

im sorry,
just for today......
just for today....

2010-04-20T09:51:00.000+08:00

To a point of life, we will come to realize that, everybody's human too.

2010-04-17T19:33:00.000+08:00

I missed the past. So many changes have taken place.

2010-04-17T12:52:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time for me to wake up smiling.. had the best dream today! Shiok!

2010-04-07T02:07:00.000+08:00

Is there any real right or wrong?

First, an anecdote.

Everyone knows during World War 2 Japan invaded Singapore. I dont have to remind that, how many innocent lives were lost during World War 2 and how locals were tortured. What would you do, IF during World War 2, when the british are hunting down japanese, you were hiding some innocent japanese children in your home and a british soldier came to ask if there were any japanese inside? Would you tell the truth and sentence these innocent people to death, or would you lie to protect them? Most people respond to this question with the “logical conclusion” that they would lie and protect the innocent.

Lying may be wrong in most situations, they say, but not in all situations. We are not taught to lie either, why would we?
Moral dilemmas.

We believe it was morally wrong for the Japanese to torture and kill during World War II. But we not only think it is wrong, we think everyone should agree that it is wrong. This is not to say that something is wrong just because everyone agrees it is wrong. There is a logical possibility that we are mistaken and it is just our condition and religion that tells us these things are wrong. Which simply means, torturing people is not really wrong, we just think it is, our morals tells us it is. It is very easy to say there are no objective or absolute right or wrong. In fact, there are none. Laws/Rules/Teachings are made up by human beings.

It is much more difficult, however, to live with no morals. Would you kill babies for fun? No. But then again, is it possible if we're in a situation where killing babies for personal enjoyment is morally right thing to do? Should someone find a reason to kill babies that if, in his or her mind, makes it good. Then from that person's perspective the killing of babies is good.

Right or wrong is relative to each person and his or her perceptions.

"Men who believe themselves to be good, who do not search their own souls, most often commit the worst atrocities. A man who sees himself as evil will restrain himself. It is only when we do evil in the belief that we do good that we pursue it wholeheartedly."

Yes, No, Yes, No... All are bullshits.
The line of reasoning is self-refuting.
It fails its own test.

2010-04-03T21:10:00.000+08:00

:you didnt tell people that i corrupted you, did you?

:why? cause you were so innocent?

:................................................no.(cause you were.)

2010-03-31T00:51:00.000+08:00

its a good hair day.
hmmmmm.... is that a sign of good luck?

today i play truant on work and went to Roy house play mahjong. His house 3 storey sia!!
rich sunshine boy. -_- one day im gonna kidnap him.
muhahahahahahhaha!!!!
oh lord i feel sick about myself.
how can i do such a thing?
but then again...
the more i think about it....
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEE!!!
im a bastard. hahahahahah
i know whats the question you feel like asking now.
play mahjong right. got win anot?!

i......

i......

i......

HAHA!

got lah today is good hair day.
i win $4.30!!!!! :X

tomorrow we're celebrating wayne's birthday.
what to get for him leyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy????

something's different.
can you feel me smiling today?

happy times scare me sometimes..
to be fair, dont people get the same amount of :) and :(?
im afraid that something really bad would happen to me later on.

i know that it couldn't be measured like that. but still, there's this weird bad feeling.
sometimes, life ain't fair.
if you think about it, its not fair in the first place either.

such an unfriendly place,
we're still going through with it.

2010-03-28T23:53:00.000+08:00

sign.

i miss all my so-called 'ah beng' friends. actually they are very nice la, inspite they smoke, drink and club. but i've got no time. i need to work. when i got no work i need to clean up the house. always not free de. why? did i not manage my time well?

sign sign sign.

SLEEP! :D

2010-03-28T23:05:00.000+08:00

dear dairy,

today i went through some facebook profiles and realized a trend about youngsters nowadays. funny, ah bengs like to put something like " .... actually i am not a ah beng, i am a good boii.. i like to study, blah blah blah ...." in the 'about me' section. Oh really?... hmmmm... sure.. but you do have many irony photos man.. and your comments are like,

" @$$#^*# you go LPS lah" then the other will reply

"LPS????" then

"its long pia si(anyhow bang die) lah $%^&*$$@#$$%" then

"#$%^&*(^$# you go LTS @#$^%" then

"LTS?????? Dont copy me leh !@$#%$#@" then

"i ask you go long tou si(bang head die) $#^&%$##" then

"@#$%&#@ *NC16* @#$%@#@#$" then

"!@ *R21* #$%^ *M18* !@$#%^&#@"

and yeahhhh....... good boys

2010-03-27T01:25:00.000+08:00

THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out shapes and see if your subconscious is trying to send you a message.

See how long you can hold a note
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes)
Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Inhale deeply and then try and make a noise for as long as you can. Earn extra points for making your partner laugh or ending on an amusing note.

Try to not think about penguins
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.

Use your secret mind power
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.

Pretend you're a robot
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Walk down the street with mechanical movements, adding 'zzzzzt' sounds with each motion. Pretending to have a motor broken in, say, your left hand can add at least 30 seconds more entertainment. Scratch yourself(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?

Rate passers by
(Amusement Potential: 10-15 minutes)
Secretly award passers by marks out of ten as you go along, offering (unsaid) expert criticism over their clothing, hairstyle and footwear choices.

Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.

Pinch yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.

Try to swallow your tongue [i like this one!]
(Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible, but really stupid.

Pretend to be a car
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Make appropriate revving noises in your head as you walk along and add a racing commentary as you pass strangers in the street. Use blinking eyes as indicators for extra authenticity.

Make Star Trek door noises
(Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
Stand by an electric door to a bank or something and make that silly "Scccccccchwop" sound heard whenever people popped on to the bridge to hang with Captain Kirk.

Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.

Get yourself as nauseated as possible
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better".

Invent a weird twitch
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Adopt a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking your head irregularly, twitching with eye or busting out sporadic cough noises) and try it out when you go shopping.

Make a low buzzing noise
(Amusement Potential: 15-30 minutes)
Hours of fun in libraries! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts.

2010-03-16T08:52:00.000+08:00

this post would be an antidote for the previous emo and lame post.

i find that most people dont understand what im trying to say. maybe its abit embarrassing for me to cry this out loud because im just over obsessed with myself. but i prefer readers to understand what i meant.

im just blogging about the day i ran through my newborn photos. its that simple. im not a complicated person, im not in love with anybody but myself. and, "lame" and "emo" are not suitable for eachother. how can they be in the same category? doesn't the post sounds way to lame to be an emo post?

from the previous post: [antidote]
whats this feeling? [i felt something after scanning through my newborn photos]
what is this weird, mixed-up, incredible awesome feeling?? [what am i feeling]
i cant describe it.. [its a feeling i cant describe]
oh lord, the first time i ever felt this way before... [first time i got this feeling]
im going crazy! [what should i do?]
i want you, i want... I WANT YOU NOW!!!! [im so adorable]
i wanna, i wanna, wanna grab hold of you. [i wanna hug myself in that baby form]
oh no, am i in love?? [i love myself so much]
its more than that, it must meant something. [i must be something]
looking at your photos over and over again.. [looking carefully at myself]
cant keep my vision away from you... [repeating scanning through the photos]
argh...! what should i do?! [i cant stop]
this feeling is slowly devouring my inner organs, its killing me... [what a weird feeling]
gimme a break..... GIMME a break... GIMME A BREAK!!!!!!! [am i weird?]

have you recently check out your newborn photos? [i am not much of a random person, i dont post random sentences. this sentence here just says all about what im posting above. the rest of the post is just lame]

would you prefer me to write in the other reader friendly way? yes, humans tend to choose the easier way. everybody is the same. but if we keep choosing the easier way and as time goes by, how can we ever improve? just like if we keep counting numbers 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9..... and so on, if we never tried, how can we do addition, subtraction,... all the way to "hell would i know, ultimate of mathematics?" which is much much more complicated then just counting. and i think it would make the post much more interesting and funny like that. or you can call that lame.

now your reaction should be, "ORHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh".

if your reaction is still "???? huh?????? what he talking sia". not to worry :)
you can call my helpline at 1900-1234-5678.
or visit the faq webpage at www.confirmunderstand.com

but if you have no reaction................
dont worry lah! since im so knowledgeable, my advice is..
just take care my friend... god will help you :)

thats all for the yeah,
antidote for the previous happy and interesting post

2010-03-13T00:33:00.000+08:00

READER ADVISORY:
WARNING, (read carefully, do not miss out anything) the following post may contain violence, disturbing, explicit stuff, "very bad things", "very very bad things", "very very very bad things", "very very very very bad things", "very very very very very bad things" and "very very very very very very bad things". This is not funny, the purpose is to get you mentally prepared for the following post that may contain disturbing and explicit stuff, "very bad things", "very very bad things", "very very very bad things", "very very very very bad things", "very very very very very bad things" and "very very very very very very bad things". Seriously, proceed only if you're in a open and strong mental condition. Not suitable for children, unprepared minds and pregnant ladies.

Ok.... guess you still have abit of courage since you read the warning and proceeded. But this not only need that bit of courage. More than that. I'll give you a last warning, give up and stop now or else.... *Evil Laughs*
If you still want to continue, I'll give you an advice, treat it as my last gift for you. Read carefully. It may be your last time receiving a gift though. *Evil Laughs*

whats this feeling?
what is this weird, mixed-up, incredible awesome feeling??
i cant describe it..
oh lord, the first time i ever felt this way before...
im going crazy!
i want you, i want... I WANT YOU NOW!!!!
i wanna, i wanna, wanna grab hold of you.
oh no, am i in love??
its more than that, it must meant something.
looking at your photos over and over again..
cant keep my vision away from you...
argh...! what should i do?!
this feeling is slowly devouring my inner organs, its killing me...
gimme a break..... GIMME a break... GIMME A BREAK!!!!!!!

have you recently check out your newborn photos?

if you feel like fainting, dial 995 first.

hmmmmmm.... if you still have question marks on your head, let me tell you the real intention of this post.

The true meaning of this post is...... *drums*

guess lor.

sorry you've guessed wrongly. Okay i'll tell you now. Lemme repeat.

The true meaning of this post is...... *drums*

by the way, for those who had already got it, lemme remind you that you're wasting time here. you can stop reading now.

didn't i tell you to stop reading? anyway, since you have already waste so much time.... why not.... you know.... waste more time and get this over with.

oh ya, i'll now announce the true meaning of this post. lemme repeat.

The true meaning of this post is...... *drums*

................ just forget it and give up because this post is meaningless.

haha... i warned you trice. if you noticed. heheh

i will live happily ever after if i get you here. The End.

no more!!!!!!

still reading??

you're wasting time you know..

refer to the reader advisory if you're unhappy.

really no more lah!

2010-03-10T22:28:00.000+08:00

i see myself in their eyes.
and woah, never thought it was to this extend.
i disgusted myself.

theres so much i wanted to say, to stand up for myself.
hey friend, you know it right.
i know you do.. and you

now gonna be emo for a while..
i think im not good enough yet. not yet
pursuing loneliness to learn what friendship means..
sorry, bye

and, PLEASE LAH, im not that kind of dumb fool weaking that would suicide for some bad things that happens in life. FK!!!
bye.

im not in love,
this is not my heart,
im not gonna waste these words about a girl...

2010-03-08T06:48:00.000+08:00

A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco.

"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me.

"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."

"There's something you should know," the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."

"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."

"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."

"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."

At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide.

The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.

How are you feeling now?

2010-03-06T19:30:00.000+08:00

What
Are
They
Saying?

2010-03-02T21:49:00.000+08:00

我一直坐在咖啡廳的角落
沒有人發現我還在難過
其實早就已經忘了怎麼說
就算再怎麼捨不得
你還是走了
我還不想承認這事實
怎麼會變成這個樣子
沒有了,
我真的什麼都沒有了
就像一個廢人
回家的路上我哭了
眼淚再一次崩潰了
無能為力這樣走著
再也不敢驕傲奢求了
我還能夠說些什麼
我還能夠做些什麼
我好希望你會聽見
因為愛你我讓你走了

2010-03-02T13:55:00.001+08:00

nothing is more important than, now.
because now, is everything.

2010-02-28T04:00:00.000+08:00

CHINGAY 2010

2010-02-25T06:05:00.000+08:00

Twist, Lick, Dunk right?
yea. here goes.....

First you twist it,...... then you.......
oh shit it broke.

ryan: oreos don't work like that..

.......................
...............................
....................

2010-02-21T02:50:00.000+08:00

Dont worry about the future, accept what comes along.

Scolded for being zi-lian.

2010-02-16T08:59:00.000+08:00

Well, feels something different.

It's like a relieve now i guess.

Said what i wanted to.

Is that the end of my ?

Lemme run a test.

Three days.

2010-02-15T04:24:00.000+08:00

i love club music
everything is so cut and dried
you love someone, you set them free
love me or let me go
prove your love
my love is your love
it's love or it's not love
love is sex
sex is love
i defy you to find a club an them that says, i love you...
but im not really sure what love is all about
but i still wanna have sex with blah blah blah...

2010-02-14T09:09:00.000+08:00

Year of the Tiger 2010

The Rat
For those born in the Year of the Rat, year 2010 promises to be an average year for you, while you may suffer from melancholy from time to time, the positioning of the planets in 2010 will benefit the rats and they will most definitely be more self-confident, and be more innovative than before. Excellent news for the lonely rats, year 2010 promises a great love life for you. You will definitely find a lover within the year, and for the ones that are blissfully married, the year will be filled with romantic joy. Time to rejoice in the warmth of love, rats!

The Ox
You should be aware of some conflicts that might happen in the coming year, particularly with the dragons and horses. To avoid these conflicts, remember to keep an open mind and to not judge others without any basis. This year is a good year for you to learn a new language, so, if you have always wanted to pick up a new language before traveling, 2010 would definitely be the best year. Career-wise, those born in the year of the Ox should be aware that in 2010, your working attitude will be slightly lackadaisical and without much buoyed enthusiasm, put in effort to change the attitude.

The Tiger
For their own year, the Tigers will face a surprisingly average year with little ups and downs. While everything will be at your advantage this year, you will find it terribly difficult to find the encouragement and willpower to perform at your very best. Find the encouragement within yourself or you might be faced with plenty of disappointments. 2010 will provide a healthy backdrop for you, for those suffering digestive problems; you will most likely find that situations for you will improve.

The Rabbit
Unfortunately for the Rabbits, 2010 will possibly be a bad year for those who were born in the year of the Rabbit. You will have to work hard to achieve some good in terms of your career, health and love life. Rabbits should look towards philosophy and religion to find some good in the upcoming year. Be prudent, thrifty and stay on the lookout for signs of a business scam, your finances could prove to be a problem this upcoming year.

The Dragon
For those born in the year of the Dragon, it is time for you to apply into some form of school or undertake some courses! Studying in the upcoming year will bring you a considerable amount of success. While you might find yourself getting into some minor conflicts, it is essential for you to stay positive. Your ability to stay positive will lead to a happier and more successful year ahead. It might also be a rocky year ahead for you if you are in a relationship, remember, stay positive and lend a listening ear and you will stay happy.

The Snake
Those born in the year of the Snake are known to be very stubborn. Keep your stubbornness in check; learn to control it and you will find many successes coming towards you in the upcoming year. While it is important to have dreams, try to keep a level-headed mind for the upcoming year or you might end up straying away from reality. Once you’ve kept a level-headed mind, you will find yourself in favorable opportunities in your career, make sure you grab them!

The Horse
Good news for the horses! Year 2010 might be one of the smoothest years for you. You will find bonds between your friends and relatives being built fairly easily. Keep a clear head when making decisions for you will find that plenty of decisions may sound familiar to one another but with very different outcomes. You may also tend to overfeed yourself in the upcoming year so be sure to keep on a healthy diet and exercise regularly.

The Goat
Those born in the year of the Goat will find plenty of wealth opportunities coming their way in 2010. You may end up passing up on a lot of them and making several bad decisions early on in the trimester but it is crucial for you to stay positive and not be disheartened by your losses for more opportunities will be coming for you later in the year. Stay on your feet, be in the company of your loved ones and develop more personal relationships and you will find that the upcoming year might just be your best year yet.

The Monkey
It is essential for the monkey to not be overly emotional in 2010. You will find that not everything will go your way initially. While you might lose some close friends, you have to maintain mental stability to save the broken pieces of the relationship. However, 2010 will provide business opportunities for you. It is the year for you to take risks. Take the risks and you will be rewarded tremendously. Do not rest on your laurels and expect things to happen!

The Rooster
2010 will be a year of competition for those born in the year of the Rooster. In your career, you will face plenty of competition to get up onto a higher rung of the ladder in your company. If you are unattached, you will find competition for someone that you are interested in. Make well-thought out decisions and do not make rash decision. Adopt a positive and hardworking attitude and 2010 might just be a good year for you.

The Dog
There will be ups and downs for the dog in the year 2010. In your career, your lack of respect towards authority might prove to be a downfall for you. Your quest for independence will lead to you having some problems in your love life as well. It is ultimately crucial for you to tone down your brash attitude to find some good in the upcoming year or 2010 will prove to be a year of loneliness for you. Stay friendly!

The Pig
Known to be sentimental creatures, you have to learn to put off your sentimental ways to find some unexpected successes in your line of work and your love life for 2010. The alignment of the stars will bring you utmost luck for the coming year so expect some monetary windfall coming your way. It is important for you to stay away from carbonated drinks in the upcoming year for you will be vulnerable and open to intestinal and digestive problems. However, besides that, 2010 might prove to be a healthy year ahead for you.

Well well well, i see... its gonna be my best year? Develop more personal relationships? Be on my feet huh?

Yeah.....

2010-02-14T04:53:00.000+08:00

They're telling me
its beautiful
I believe them
but will I ever know
The sun will shine
like never before
One day I will be
ready to go
See the world behind my wall

The truth is?

2010-02-10T22:29:00.000+08:00

PATIENCE.

LORD GIVE ME PATIENCE.

So much for that six years of shit, now we're strangers.

2010-02-09T08:21:00.000+08:00

Yoona is my favourite

2010-02-02T02:56:00.000+08:00

i cant do this. fuck it, this is so childish. Tomorrow will be better i guess. Gonna spend some time at the library at the philosophical corner.

2010-02-02T02:29:00.000+08:00

Feels so suckish now. Today is the first suckiest day of 2010. That video sucks! It sucks so much.. just because im blinded for a few days because of that day. Now i can see and believe that you sucks to the core. FUCK, forget it. I'm the sucker.

2010-01-29T23:06:00.000+08:00

Have you ever stop to think of what you want in your life?

Hey, you know what?

This is what i wrote when i was 14 years old. I don't really remember that i actually wrote this. Come to think of it, i had no idea what my mind was thinking at that time. Was so immature and not realistic. Well, im still just a kid. =)

Four years... just like that. Now, im 18 years old, still a kid. So many things had changed, yet some things remain unchanged. Some things i regreted writing, now im stucked, yet some things i had achieved or i know i'd always had had in that old list. If i were to rewrite now, many new things would be inside, and --- "family, friends, good friends, to have love, to love everyone and loved by everyone, to breathe, to care, to sleep, to be happy, and never put a full-stop in my 'i want in my life' list(still greedy)" would still be in there. Guess these things are tattooed inside me.

That paper, reminds me to think of what i had learnt and achieve the past four years. "Not much" is the last thing i would want to think of but, it was the first thing i thought of. That sucks. Ok, i should save regreting, and start planning. The next four years will be better! I promise.

Lastly, i would like to thank Mr Ow, for keeping this paper the past four years in his bag and then showing me yesterday when his brother coincidencely checked his bag and found my 'what i want in my life' list.

2010-01-25T22:19:00.000+08:00

Don't you know, my heart is pumpin', oh, i got this feeling...

I'll do better, I know,
Baby, I can do better.

2010-01-25T22:01:00.000+08:00

Today, i thought for the whole day. About my past, present, future.

Factors that tamed me. (at least, i still have my conscience)
Family,
Money,
Pride,
Law,
Studies,
Guilt,
Fear,
Dignity,
Time,
Friends.
Factors that makes me crazy. (even if i have to go against the world, i'll do what i want.)
Courage,
Selfishness,
Determination,
Wilfulness,
Honesty,
Thick-Skined,
Nature,
Dont-Care Attitude,
Trust,
Freedom,
Luck,
Money,
Stubborness,
Patience,
Happiness.

If this is a choice, what would you choose?
Choose A and you'll not have B.
Choose B then forget about A.

If only its an equation...

2010-01-20T00:50:00.000+08:00

While blog hopping,... found something interesting.

Consciousness Matters

2010-01-18T19:13:00.000+08:00

Today, I gave up on chances, that i gave myself. (So corny)

Previously, I gave up on many chances for me to "fly". I asked my heart, "why..?" He said,"without 'courage' and 'believe', i cant do anything, i lost them, my world is very, very dark... cant see anything.."

Every day in our lives, people usually dont take chances or even not notice them. This world gave us so many chances if you'd notice. Every decision, every task, things we do, places we go and etc.

Opportunity, Luck, Miracle, Possibility, Phenomenon, Accident, Risk.
They are always there, for taking. Be it positive/negative, if you believe, why not?
If you have a dream, give it a chance to happen.

If you dont, its okay, you wont die. I dont and im alive here. There is no right or wrong, just, what do you want? You reap what you sow.(you get what you give) You choose.

I try to have no chance, no destiny, no fate, but a firm, determined soul. Yes, i completely agree that action speaks louder. Thats why i used "try". One should design their own life plan, if one dont, fate would plan it. Guess what fate had planned? Probably not much, because Fate is too busy planning for every matter in this universe.

2010-01-12T21:42:00.000+08:00

Something inspirational to share :D

BE THANKFUL

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

2010-01-10T00:14:00.000+08:00

Great song, perfect choreo, sweet story.

2010-01-09T22:48:00.000+08:00

Today, someone reminded me and, i gazed at the sky.
Where are the stars?? I dont even remember when was the last time i saw one.

When i was young i guess. When i was really young, i used to gaze at the sky every now and then. During the day, i would stare at the clouds, wondering if they really moved or my eyes are playing tricks on me. During the night, I would search for the brightest star, and name it. Make a wish if i happen to see a shooting star. Time seem to pass really quick when you count the stars.

Now, when i look at the sky, stars dont seem to exist anymore. Its just blank darkness most of the time. Where are they?.. I learnt that earth spins, wind blows, clouds move and stars are just rocks hanging above. Shooting stars are visible paths of a rock as it enters the universe. Do you still wish if you know that?

No I aint gonna do that but, i'll buy 4-D, TOTO, etc. (OMG i answer my own question! Z.)

Shooting stars come and go so quickly, and they relatively rare to appear, especially in modern cities where theres light pollution. Luck is with you if you'd happen to see right? Or is it coincidence?? Fate??!!

I wonder... but whatever it is..., i'll still wish.
Because i still have hope, still believes in life...

2010-01-05T10:33:00.000+08:00

If you have some free time, please, watch this.

" Earthlings "

and spread it.

2010-01-04T01:18:00.000+08:00

'You' think my blog entries are very emo?
'You' think im still pondering over a girl?
'You' think im having a sad life?

No lah, they are very optimistic and forward looking! Sometimes it may sound miserable bleak and pessimistic, but if you really understand them, they are much positive and full of life! To question life, to bravely accept reality, to experience life, to move forward, to have no regrets. I'd admit i might be pessimist last time but now, I've learnt.

The girl? No lah, I've moved on. She got her life, I had mine. Our direction diverted, with different paths.. We still keep in contact from time to time... Sometimes, you know, you still have that urge, to hold on harder, to keep on trying... That fire, still burning, and its warm... That light, still flicker, still shines... After some years, I've given up. Now, it's a book left untouch at the corner of the shelf. That chapter has end. It's over, time to move forward.

My life's blue? No lah, Being sentimental about some issues in life doesn't mean im living a sad life. Im just 'REAL'. I still look forward for the future! Sometimes i really envy others but hey, now i know to use the phrase, 'At least'. It a phrase i've learnt during my motivational days in secondary school. Very useful huh.

Thats the truth.

2009-12-31T21:58:00.000+08:00

Farewell 2009...
Welcome 2010... nice to meet you

Its a whole new year, a new beginning...
oh well... can't help sounding so 'not excited'
the first day, im down with cold/flu..
what came on my mind was, it that a bad sign?
............................................
oh lord.... what am i thinking.... am i emo?
no way!!! I CANNOT BE.

Anyway, my resolution for 2010 will be...
okay, it the same as last year...
something newly added to the list....


'BE HARDWORKING'
'BE OPTIMISTIC'
'GROW UP'(both mentally and physically)
'HAVE PASSION'(in life)
'FIND MY TRUE LOVE'(what with this?)

okay, i want to start searching now, i dont care anymore(too young for this? concentrade on studies?) fuck it. I dont wanna end up living alone for the rest of my life.. i wanna have a family, i wanna have kids.. but i wont get married with anybody on the street, i will find the right one.. of course, love is a belief i'd always remember that..

wow im shocked, maybe being optimistic ain't really hard. HOORAY!

i realised something , its as if im talking to myself writing all this....
do i have double personality? am i emo?
yes you do.... kelvin, yes you are......
oh lord, im going crazier crazier crazier.......

2009-12-31T11:25:00.000+08:00

feels like... my hair's longer

nowaday's spinning around Eunice..

oh hey, this could be something

2009-12-31T06:25:00.000+08:00

when is it time?

2009-12-27T00:58:00.000+08:00

Another day passed.... I slept through it....
Oh lord.... HOW CAN ANYONE NOT ENJOY A WHOLE DAY OF NAP?
hahah...

I LOVE YOU KELVIN KU!
and im so so sooooo infatuated with you...
You're my no.1 in this world...
Nobody will ever ever EVER replace you....
I cant live without you for even 1 second....
So,... tell me, can you treat me any better....??

Oh master KELVIN!
You're a sick gay in love with ownself bastard

HELL YEAH i am .......
SPIDERMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

today i googled for " how to love yourself "
google is always our good friend :)
this may be helpful for some low self esteem...
talking about low self es.... (PeggyC hit me straight in the head)
found this.... here goes....

How To Love Yourself In 17 Ways

Step 1 (refer to above if you don't know how to start)
Fall in love with yourself. Think about what makes you You. Just like a flower that needs watering to grow, learn to nurture yourself in every way. Love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. This does not meant that you do not learn to change from your shortcomings; instead, you are being gentle and kind to yourself for all your flaws. Look in the mirror and fall in love with the reflection that is You.

Step 2
Eliminate Self Criticism. Do you often berate yourself over the tiniest thing? Is there a little voice inside your head that often tells you that you are no good because you are stupid or make mistakes. If you find that you criticise yourself often, make an effort to stop the self criticism.

Step 3 (Yes, optism is good)
Be Kind And Positive. When you start to think kindly and positively about yourself, the love you have for yourself just grows. Make it a habit to praise yourself everyday, while in the front of the mirror. Because of such thoughts, you naturally undertake empowering actions that support your development.

Step 4
Acknowledge Your Effort. It’s not always about winning or having success in everything that you do. Many times, it is the effort that counts! Acknowledge that you’ve done your best, even if you have failed to produce tangible results.

Step 5
Let Go Of Worry. Loving yourself requires you to let go of your worry. It is a horrible way to live a life filled with constant worrying. I can attest to that! Worry does not help in any way. It cannot, on its own, make things happen. Only wise actions can! So instead of worrying, spend time thinking about what you can do to help in the situation. If the situation is beyond your control, then ask the Universe for your desired outcome and let things work out on their own. Things will come to be, if they are meant to be. (Really...?)

Step 6
Trust Yourself. Have confidence in your abilities. Know that you have the ability to make important changes for yourself, for as long as you put your heart to it. You can also support yourself by visualizing desired outcomes.

Step 7
Forgive Yourself. If you have made mistakes in the past that had caused you to feel less worthy, then you need to forgive yourself. All of us make mistakes; so there really is no need to beat yourself up over them. Or if you’ve been carrying around a baggage of emotional hurt because of a childhood trauma, learn to forgive yourself that it is not your fault.

Step 8
Be Truthful To Yourself. Loving yourself requires you to be truthful about your own feelings. If you are happy, acknowledge the joy. If you are sad, acknowledge the sorrow. When you are truthful about your feelings, you do not try to lie to yourself or seek to bury your negative emotions. Instead, acknowledging what you feel provides a good guide to what your thoughts are. And as we all know, thoughts can be changed, so that healing and self growth can take place.

Step 9
Grow Spiritually. When you spend time growing spiritually, loving yourself is an automatic thing. You become more peaceful, connected, kind, loving and compassionate. You nurture a mind that grows more beautiful by the day. How to not love yourself in the process?

Step 10
Make Positive Affirmations Everyday. Post affirmations that can help raise your self esteem everyday. For instance, say this to yourself “I love and accept myself completely and unconditionally.” Read your affirmations out loud several times a day.

Step 11
Express Gratitude. Express gratitude for the person that you are. For instance, cultivate an appreciation for your strengths and gifts. Also, feel a sense of gratitude that you are alive and well, and fully capable of making a difference in your life.

Step 12 (Im closer to reality...)
Nurture Your Dreams. Why deny yourself your dreams? When you nurture your dreams, you would love the life that you are leading. Every moment that you live is a joy because you are expressing yourself fully.

Step 13
Boost Your Self Confidence. Make a deliberate attempt to look for opportunities that can help improve your sense of Self. For instance, if you are particularly good at doing something, set aside more time to indulge and improve your skills on it. Knowing that you have particular gifts can boost your self esteem.

Step 14(yea... sleep well...)
Relax. You need to give yourself space to take breaks every now and then. If you spend your time working, without paying attention to your health, it also means that you do not love yourself well enough to take care of your own body. Fill your time with silence, soothing music and visions of beauty; anything that nourishes your Soul.

Step 15
Have Fun. Inject some fun into your life. Life is meant to be an enjoyable. Don’t take life or yourself too seriously. If you can think of life in this manner, you automatically relax and quit worrying over things that do not matter.

Step 16
Look After Your Body. It is important that you strengthen yourself with proper nutrition and regular exercise. Your body is a temple and you should treat it with respect, love and care. It has been found that the lack of self love is often the root causes of conditions like eating disorders, obesity or even terminal diseases.

Step 17 (this is crazy)
Learn To See Beauty. When you learn to see beauty in every thing, you will also see beauty in yourself. Hence, stop to smell the flowers. Notice everything. Feel everything. The pink blush of the flowers in your garden, the greeness of the plains, the whisper of the gentle wind, or the myraid hues of an evening sky.

When you make a decision to love yourself, you are really saying that you want to come alive. You accept that you are responsible for the outcomes that you experience in your life and would like yourself to shine from living a fulfilling life.

Reflection. (the coolest!)

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.”

2009-12-26T06:49:00.000+08:00

today i googled for " how to forget someone you love "
hah, pretty funny isn't it.. im like making fun of myself recently...
anyway, this could be helpful for some people.

something i totally agree with is
it all depends on yourself....

here goes,

after you realised it's over.............

So now what? Are you going to sit and cry for the rest of your life or do you intend to do something? Was that ending your fault or are you not the one to blame? Is there something you can do to fix it? Is there something you should stop and think about so you can act in a better way the next time round? There are many things you can do to heal a broken heart.....

Step 1
Cry out everything you have to cry about! When we get hurt, it's normal (and good) to cry. Don't ever think you're being weak for crying and don't feel embarrassed because of it! It's normal and it's good! When you cry, you let go of part of your anger and hurt so you can feel less heavy. You can lock yourself in a room, if you want to, and put on some sad music...but let yourself feel the pain and cry so you can let it go. The main thing here is: Get rid of the pain! Just let her go!

Step 2
Get busy! When you're trying to get someone out of your head, you need to put other things inside of it. In other words...get busy! It doesn't matter how, you just need to get distracted. Go to a movie, watch a play, travel. It doesn't matter what are you going to do--the important thing is to find something to do. Find a hobby, find something you enjoy doing, something to keep your mind busy. If your mind is busy, it doesn't have time or space to think about the person you're trying to forget.

Step 3
Spend some time with your friends. Friends are always great to have in this kind of situation! Friends can make you feel good about yourself and get you distracted very easily. They will certainly make you laugh and make you see that you're way more important than you think! The only warning is: Ask them not to talk about the person you're trying to forget. If they start bringing the topic up in every conversation, you won't be able to forget, and instead of making you laugh, they're going to make you cry. So be honest and ask them not to talk about it!

Step 4
Avoid the person! Try not to go to places you know you can meet that person. When you're trying to forget someone and you two keep seeing each other, it gets hard to get over it. If you meet him/her somewhere, just be nice and kind, but find an excuse to go away as fast as you can! If you work or study with him/her and you can't avoid seeing him/her, just try not to look and not to talk too much. Just be gentle and keep busy all the time so you won't have excuses to look at him/her or to chat.

Step 5 (I Think so too.)
Go out and see some different faces! Being at home gives you more time to think about it, which makes the process even more difficult. So even if you're not feeling excited or you're in a bad mood, just put on your best clothes, best shoes, best smile, call some friends and go somewhere nice where you can dance, drink, listen to some music. And the most important: See some different faces! When you go out, you notice that the person you're trying to forget is not the only one who's got a perfect smile and an amazing voice...thank god, there are other interesting people around the world, too!

Step 6 (hmmmm, i wonder......)
Avoid every kind of romantic thing! If you're trying to forget someone, you'd better not watch romantic movies or listen to romantic songs...it makes you feel bad and you will certainly remember the person you're trying to get rid of. It doesn't matter if it's a song you love or if it's playing on the radio...just change the station or do something else! Put on some happy songs, dancing songs, watch some comedies, terror movies, whatever...you just need to avoid the romantic things for now!

Step 7 (Well, its good to be vain!)
Take good care of yourself. Women tend to run for some kind of self-destruction when they're hurt. If we break up our perfect relationship, then we have no reason to get our nails done anymore and the only thing that gives us comfort is chocolate and sugar. That way, the only thing we do is to become less attractive and lessen our self-confidence. So if you're hurt, just try to use your pain for yourself instead of against you. Go to the gym, work out a lot, get your nails and hair done...do whatever you can so you can feel more pretty and confident!

Step 8
Accept the process! You can be really strong and it's still going to hurt. The process takes time and you have to accept that! You can't hope to forget in 2 days someone you loved for 2 years...and you can't pretend to be strong if you feel like crying. Just face your pain and accept that it's not easy and it's going to take some time. When you're patient with yourself and your situation, things tend to get easier...

Well, of course, forgetting someone is not easy to do nor is it easily explained in just 8 steps. But there are some things that make the process a lot smoother. As I said, it takes time and it's hard but I'm sure you can do it! The only thing that is really, really important is: It all depends on you! Don' ever forget that! If you want to forget someone, then you will, there is no doubt! Even if it takes a long time, even if you have to be really strong...you will be! In that kind of situation we usually find out that we are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for! So believe that. Believe that, take a deep breath and move on! Your life's waiting for you, baby! (what's with the 'baby!' at the end....)

trying to be optimistic helps alot too....
good luck folks...... and kelvin
WE CAN DO IT!!!